the Journey to Self Love
Self love is not simply just feeling good about ourselves. It is having a high regard of your own wellbeing and happiness. It means loving yourself enough to recognize that you are worth taking care of your own needs instead of sacrificing them or yourself for others. Self love is vital for living well. It influences who you pick as a life partner. How you manage with life's problems and difficulties. How you portray yourself at work. How you take care of yourself. How you perceive yourself. SO many things!
Take a few minutes to watch this incredible Ted talk by Jen Oliver. Jen Oliver is the author of the International best selling book, The Love Fit Mana and creator of Fit Mama Podcast. What she is most passionate about is spreading the message that if you love the body and the life you have, you will have the body and life you love. In this Ted talk she explains how greater self love inspires your life and how to cultivate more of it.
So how do we get it? How do we learn to fully and truly love ourselves? Is it through massive physical transformation, a spa day and a make over? Is it found by finally leaving the toxic relationship you were in? No, not entirely. Self love is being appreciative of yourself and the growth of that love comes from actions that support physical, psychological and spiritual growth. Self love is dynamic. When we act and make choices in ways that expand self love, we begin to accept our weaknesses as WELL as our strengths and feel less of need to strive for perfection or apologize for our shortcomings. It helps us have compassion for ourselves as human beings and alleviates pressure from unrealistic expectations we set on ourselves.
Self love doesn't come easy. In a society where we are hard wired to want to change so much about ourselves, it is a challenge to change the narrative in our minds and learn to love ourselves exactly as we are. Self love takes patience, consistency, self awareness, practice, acceptance and belief.
So what sort of things can we do for self love? Check out this list of some small habits you can start implementing into your daily routine to start growing your self love. Make sure to check out the resources at the end of the blog post for some more lists of ideas for growing your self love.
- Start your day showing love to yourself. Right after you wake up and head to the mirror, compliment yourself. Tell yourself what are 3 things you love about yourself today? What are 3 things you are grateful for?
- Tell yourself something positive in the mirror - a compliment, maybe how you liked how you handled a situation. Something to make yourself smile.
- STOP COMPARING YOURSELF. Comparison is the thief of joy. The more time you spend focusing on others is less time you spend focusing on what you truly have, what brings you joy, what you appreciate and are grateful for
- Embrace and love the things that make you different from everyone else. We often praise and cherish our similarities, but it is really our differences that make us unique.
- Practice mindfulness and being fully present in the moment you are in.
- SELF CARE, SELF CARE, SELF CARE. Self Care is not just a one and done type thing. It is an active process. An active part of your routine you need to maintain. You will love yourself more when you take better care of your basic needs. If you don't take care of your basic needs, who is going to? People high in self love nourish themselves daily through things like good nutrition, exercise, proper sleep, intimacy and healthy social interactions
Do the work. You are worth the work. The hard work. Learning to love ourselves is also usually linked to breaking through unhealthy health and thought habits, negative limiting beliefs and likely deep rooted subconscious values you may not even know you have. Journalling is a great coping mechanism that can help pull out some of that negative dialogue in your head and process through emotions and feelings you may be holding onto that are impeding your ability to love yourself truly and to the fullest.
- What makes you feel happy?
- How can you love yourself more?
- What are your strengths?
- How would it feel to let go the negative beliefs you have about yourself?
- What is your biggest struggle of loving yourself?
- What is a compliment someone has given you that you struggle to accept? Why do you think that is?
- Name one thing you love about your body. Now name one thing you love about your personality.
- What would your younger self be proud of you for today?
- What makes you feel bad, but you find yourself you keep doing anyway?
- What labels, negative and positive, do you assign yourself?
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