Pride Month Stories: Lindsay's Story

This June marks the 51st anniversary of the Stonewall Riots which was the spark for the gay liberation movement, as well as it signifies 50 years since the inauguration of Pride. This year instead of solely posting about Pride and LGBTQ+ awareness, we wanted to use our platform to uplift voices and create a safe space for LGBTQ+ community members to share their story.

Today's feature story is that of Lindsay's - actually a dear friend of ours here at YEG Wellness Collective, Lindsay shares her experience of coming out as gay woman while also being a high profile collegiate athlete. 

I had only been with one woman before going to off to college in a different country but I guess I always knew deep down that I was gay. A lot of my friend groups back in Edmonton were straight, I was a high profiled athlete and didn't feel comfortable to come out at home but for some reason thought it would be a good idea to do so in the bible belt. I went to a private university in the deep south of Tennessee; however, this was really the first place I saw and met people like myself. I was still very secretive in my first couple of months there, started talking to an older girl on the golf team but kept it on the wraps. I watched closely how a couple of my openly gay teammates acted and were treated around the school, it seemed that no one really cared who they chose to date but as long as they were a good person everyone got along with them. This was my Ah-Ha moment, I thought to myself "well if they're not making a big deal out of it why am I"? 

Then one day at practice, a teammate came up to me and point-blank asked me if I was seeing that girl and for the first time I said yes. I was so scared of what they were going to think of me, would I get a negative reaction? Would they call me a freak? Instead all she said back was "That's cool, I'm happy for you". From that point on I wasn't as scared and felt more comfortable coming out to people. Hurray a happy coming out story! 

Then I went to a party a couple of weeks later, it somehow came up that I was gay and for the most part everyone was cool about it. That was until a guy on the men's soccer team ran out after me, asked me if I was gay and I said yes. He then began begging for me to not be gay, telling me that I am going to ruin my life, what I am doing is sinful and will never be forgiven by god. If it wasn't for a couple of my teammate there to step in and tell him to back off, I don't think I would have known how to react. This was my first encounter of someone who was homophobic, and before this incident, he was actually quite a good friend of mine. This is only one example of the what we face on a daily basis. I have been lucky in the sense that I haven't had to deal with too many incidents like this one, but they still happen and that is sad in this day and age. 

There have also been a handful of occasions where guys have "surprised" kissed me because they want to be the one who kissed the "hot gay girl". This is assault. No matter how funny you think it is, or how close of friends we really are, this is never okay. This happens all the time unfortunately. It is not some game, it is a violation. In the moment I brushed it off because they were my "friends" but that does not make it okay and if they were truly my friend's they would have respected me enough to not do that in the first place. I believe that we have been conditioned to think this is okay or funny when the truth is, if a guy tried to kiss them, they would have freaked out and probably started a fight. We need to start standing up for ourselves more and say enough is enough, yes, we have come incredibly far from where we were but we have so much fighting left to do.

There have also been numerous times where I have told people that I am gay and their automatic response is "you don't look gay". Even though they think that they are still queer friendly, that statement still stings a little. Being gay doesn't have to look a certain way, nor should it. It is not something you can stereo type or judge, I know plenty of hetero people who maybe look a little masculine or a little feminine. How you look should not define you. Please think before you respond to someone coming out to you, just because you don't think it's a big deal, does not make it okay. 

I want to thank Yegwellness for covering pride month and letting queer people tell their stories instead of them just posting something about pride month. I truly thank you for taking the time to learn from people who are living it daily, i think it is the best form of education.