Let's Talk About Consent
So now that we know a bit about sexual violence and rape culture, it's now an appropriate time to talk about consent, what it is and why it is so ESSENTIAL.
What is it?
Consent is a voluntary agreement to engage in sexual activity.
- It must be freely given (making someone feel afraid or guilty for saying no is NOT consent)
- Consent cannot be given by someone intoxicated, unconscious, or otherwise considered incapable of giving their consent
- Consent cannot be given if it follows threats to personal safety or threats to harm others
- Consent can be withdrawn at anytime AND this can be indicated with either words or actions. No will ALWAYS mean know, even if your partner initially agreed
Consent is needed for any form of sexual intimacy including sexual touching, kissing, fondling, oral sex, or intercourse.
Why is it important?
Gaining consent is the only way you are ensuring that you are not engaging in sexual violence. It's all about communication and it should happen every time. If you have to guess or assume, you don't have consent. It's important to recognize that no means no even if:
- the person says yes, but changed their mind
- the person has been kissing you or engaged in some form of sexual activity
- the person has had sex with you before
- the person has been using a substance and still appears willing
- the person is wearing provocative clothing
Let's repeat that- CONSENT SHOULD NOT BE ASSUMED
- Not by body language, appearance, or non-verbal communication. Don't assume by the way someone smiles, dresses, or acts means they want to have sex with you
- Dating relationships or previous sexual activity. Just because of your history and that they have had sex in the past does not mean they are still consenting to have sex with you
- Even in marriage consent is still needed
- If someone is silent, passive, has a lack of resistance, or immobile does not mean they are consenting. Even if someone does not verbally say no or resist physically, doesn't mean they are agreeing to have sex. Everyone reacts differently to stress. After all it is called fight, flight, OR freeze response!
So when it comes to consent remember FRIES:
Sources
No comments: